It’s The Scariest Time In My Life To Finally Make This Decision But I Have No Choice, I Have To Go Through With It!

Feel Good Project day 36

Today was the first Saturday in what seems like years that I surprisingly didn’t feel horrible at work!

I chalk it up to the mainly Vata diet from yesterday that I carried over to today. My body sure seems to do way better eating warm, hearty meals like chicken and veggies.

Although I feel a bit heavier eating them, I will take that ANY day over the organ pain or intense sharp pains I have had after eating in the past.

I did something I hadn’t done in months today on the short drive up the road to work-I spent that four minute ride praying a blessing over every client that I would come in contact with today-that when I touched them there would be peace and encouragement. I also prayed that God would give me talent to do my best work (even when I am tired of giving my all at times) as well as protect my energy and space from negative and draining influence.

My prayers were heard, as this day flew by, without hiccup, without feeling horribly physically or emotionally! HUGE blessing. Like I said-have not had a Saturday like that in what seems like years.

So the big decision looming before me is that I will be taking a giant leap of faith come January 1st and walk away from my career for the past 15 years.

It’s not a quick or rash decision-I was reading in past journals from 5 or so (and more!) years ago-and it’s been the same old frustrations and burnout then as I continue to experience now.

I have decided to quit hair coloring altogether (for health and wellness reasons) and probably only work one day a month doing just cuts, but even that is not certain, as my true desire is to quit altogether. I am still working through that part, but I will know what to do at the right time.

All I can say is that knowing I have only 3 Saturdays left makes me the world’s happiest gal!!!

I’m still pinching myself. 🙂

This is something I have dreamed of and cannot believe I have mustered up the guts to pull the trigger.

The funny thing is that the timing could never be worse.

Seriously-things are so tight around here (even with the awesome Black Friday we experienced-we would need Black Fridays for a year to actually be comfortable!) that I have started to doubt this every day, while trying to hold on to the hope that this is exactly how it should all be going even when it feels the exact opposite.

The bills are piling higher and higher and I plan on quitting my job? The job that has seen our nine years through some rocky times and always been the safety net when there was nothing else to catch us? THAT security? Walk away?

YES.

I know that this scary, uncomfortable whisper in my ear is true, as the thought of having to stay any longer just does not make sense anymore.

I don’t belong with my feet in two world anymore.

My new world is opening up before me and has given me a taste that I cannot get off of my palette.

To not take the leap would keep the same old cycle going in the exact same way it has for fifteen years. Hamster on a wheel. Something to pass the time and getting absolutely nowhere.

Days like today are VERY challenging to keep up the faith when all seems to crumble around me. HOW this will unfold is anyone’s guess. The glimpse of my life that I am supposed to step into is just too real to ignore anymore, so I will follow where it leads me.

I struggled with this today more than normally.

Feeling good about the decision waivered.

One foot in front of the other I go.

Complete the race and hear “WELL done” is my goal at this point.

If I can do that then I have succeeded-no matter WHAT happens next.

3 Weeks and counting…

FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: My parents ordered us Ceramcor ceramic cookwear-and today was the first time in my life I felt GREAT about cooking in that skillet-knowing I was not getting possible harmful chemicals leaching into my food. Something so very mental about this. SO comforting. PLUS-never thought I would say this but this skillet is SEXY-sleek and beautiful. I have new love in my life. I plan on cooking healthy for a long time yet and I am thrilled for my new companion joining me for the ride!