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Feel Good Project day 128
Some might refer to my journey the past few weeks as ‘falling off the radar’.
At first I felt really guilty for not showing up to blog like I promised myself, especially after I had written in one on my most recent writings that I was back in the game and was recommitted to showing up, both for myself as well as our Extreme Health Radio readers and listeners.
What more can I say other than life has different plans, and I am personally witnessing this more than normal lately.
My challenges have seemed overwhelmingly large ever since had I embarked upon my 21 day juice and bone broth fast what is now weeks ago. Heading into that cleanse and fast was fueled by the growing consistent gut issues that were becoming so ridiculously unbearable to live with on a daily basis.
My hope was to let my body have it’s proper time to self correct and set my digestion back on course, and instead I felt like my body turned on me!
As with most situations, in retrospect maybe that’s not what my body was doing at all….but man did it seem very personal and uber disappointing at the time.
To sum it up-on day 8 of my cleanse I began to experience lower back pain so intense I wondered if my kidneys were having major issues, so I proceeded with the fasting with caution, asking for a sign if my body was needing to break the fast or continue through the symptoms I was experiencing.
I found that to be the most frustrating aspect of fasting actually. What are symptoms that are signs of detox and cleansing and what are signals our bodies are giving us to tell us we might need to be done?
Well, I hung in there a bit with it for a couple hours, until I began to bleed a lot of blood-and NOWHERE close to my next menstrual cycle. In fact, I had only finished my last period about a week and a half prior to this new, really heavy bleeding, so that was a bit alarming.
I tried to not panic, but the more the night went on, the worse I continued to feel and the more weak I got, so I text my naturopath for his opinion, and we both decided that it might be time to introduce foods back in.
A slew of emotions flooded over me as I processed the feeling of defeat and gilt about not letting my readers down.
At the same time however, I know better than to ignore my own voice when it comes down to what is normal and abnormal for me to feel like, and this situation called for a good old heart to heart with my body. I broke the fast that evening by eating a small amount of fruit and then waited until the next morning to bring more fruit and light foods back in.
From this point on, to be honest, it has been ONE long struggle for me with my health.
The bleeding looks like it turned out to be my body taking a very early cycle, which in my opinion was probably brought on by the fasting that most likely changed my hormone levels so much that it reset my cycle. GIANT bummer in my opinion, as it threw everything else off with it.
I have had continued digestive issues, major uterine fibroid pain and constant discomfort. Had an ruptured ovarian cyst again and then this past week I plummeted into the worst digestive pain I have experienced in over a year…
The kind of pain that is so horrible you cannot even explain what it exactly feels like to anyone. The best I came up with is that it felt like that with every single step I took my organs felt like they were going to fall out of my body.
I felt pain in my liver area with EVERY step I took, and my pancreas was not far behind it. Then came what felt like my gallbladder twisting and then my ovaries rupturing, all while my kidneys sending waves of pain throughout my body, making me wonder if I was going to pass out.
In the past few weeks, I will not lie-it has NOT been pretty.
I thought I would be able to blog as I journeyed through this dark tunnel but I found myself hateful and resentful of my situation, as I had been making so much wonderful progress over the past year, that I felt completely deflated and just downright angry.
There have been many tears and trying to talk myself down from the ledge of believing that this would stay my new reality.
Like I had returned to HELL.
So, that’s where I have been, struggling to stay above water, all the while financially struggling more than ever to stay afloat.
Basically-a worst nightmare.
BUT…I know there is hope.
There is always hope.
Yesterday and today have I have seen glimmers of golden light shine through the darkness, and I have been able to walk around again and begin to eat foods a bit more again, although I am back to major restriction for awhile with my diet.
Thanks to friends like Mary Attalla and her amazing gift of energy work, I am back among the land of the living.
That seems to be THE thing that has helped me the most lately-an hour session with Mary, where she read into my body a bit and suggested some protocols to continue on, as well as the energy work she did on me at her studio relieved much pain almost immediately. It was TRULY a miracle.
So, I pull myself up yet again, dust myself off and continue to seek out my resolution. There WILL be more answers. I will NOT give up. I will not succumb to the depression it all can be.
Chronic illness sufferers- lets continue to rally and stay strong, trusting that our bodies will ultimately get farther along on the road to recovery, regardless of how many steps we take backward.
FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: Like I mentioned above, being able to move around with minimal pain-so much so that I was able to take a grounded beach walk and spent time drinking in the wild air. VERY healing indeed.
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