Feel Good Project day 121

I was praying my dark, hopeless attitude (that I wrote about in my last post) would eventually lift and I determined that this would happen while on my magical spiritual getaway to my heritage this weekend to Santa Barbara.

Every experience here has been beyond soul quenching and life giving I assumed being up that the dark night of the soul might conclude and and be replaced with rest, motivation and HOPE again.

Well, my darkness lifted even before I left town, and in a Wal-Mart out of all places. Had to get the last two of the four new tires on the car and needed to be done before my gals road trip and retreat away to tell heavenly hills of Montecito.

While in the waiting room of Wal-Mart for my new tires, I looked out through this glass observation area to see status of my car, and noticed this tiny, sweet little bird up in the rafters of the tire center’s high roof.

I watched it for about five minutes as it fluttered around the lofty ceiling and came back to rest on the rafters, seemingly unaware of the outside, free world about five feet below the very rafters where he was perched, where there were about six giant roll up garage doors.

It hit me that I was that bird. Creating my own cage and choosing to live in this smelly, toxic, LOUD rubber factory of tire lad, when freedom and better life was just feet away if only I’d CHOOSE it.

The connection to this bird and the illustration I had created seemed to almost immediately break the spell of despair I had been living under for the past week.

Did my circumstances change at all?

Hell no.

I am STILL in my seemingly toxic and moldy apartment, buying tires I really can’t afford and holding on by a shoe string.

But ONCE again the grace I desperately needed to help pull me out of the pit showed up when I began to wonder if it ever would this time.

Things WILL change as this is the very laws of life, nothing will stay the same, and that’s where I have to reside right now, moment to moment or I feel as if I’ll go crazy.

Expected to find my saving grace at temples retreat center once I left town, but in a VERY unexpected Wal-Mart tire center it came forth to offer me a most unexpected gift, for which I am beyond thankful. 🙂

I’ve joked all week saying God lives in Montecito, as the MOST amazing experiences happen to me there. Apparently God lives at Wal-Mart too!

Imagine that…

FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: preparing my heart to receive all that awaits me in my heritage retreat house for the next three days with two of my dearest friends…

Image: mariehulett.blogspot.com/2015/01/lovebirds-care-and-feeding.html