Wow As I’m Risking It All This Was Not The Response I Expected To Get From My Parents

Feel Good Project day 64

ME: This is seriously the craziest thing that I am quitting my job. This TIMING does not make ANY sense to be doing this from a financial perspective.

Justin: The fact that it does not make any sense makes all the sense in the world.

Gosh I love that man.

WHO says that to their partner? I am guessing very few, and I am among the MOST blessed to be on the receiving end of such a gift. Often I ask myself what I did to deserve him in my life, and I always come up short.

I know there have been a few blog entries more near the beginning of this project where I had complete break downs and wanted to give up at times, however (THANK you GOD!) I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep going.

Although I have not written about it much here because I don’t want to people to think all I do is complain or feel sorry for myself, things STILL couldn’t be any tighter over here financially as we attempt to continue the dream with Extreme Health Radio, It is a really giant challenge to follow my purpose and not give in to the worry about how we will keep a roof over our head and pay all the bills.

On top of these stresses and learning to let go, what I have been dealing with the past while is the lack of support from my family, which I admit just royally sucks.

I tried to be all spiritual in my head about dealing with these feelings of anger and resentment when I get lack of interest and support in where I am going in life, but Justin was so great at reminding me that sometimes it’s OKAY to just admit that things suck sometimes, and to really let myself feel the full weight of it.

Upon telling my mom and dad about my decision to quit my job and walk in a different direction altogether approaching here in a couple weeks, the silent response I got was staggering. Silence. Then my mom chimed in with the age old parent question of ‘ SO….you think you guys will be okay with money huh?’

So not the encouragement I was hoping for.

No ‘Wow! good for you!’ or ‘Yes, sixteen years has been a really long run-we get it.’

Instead a big FAT nothing after the one fearful question.

I mumbled defensively that we’d be fine just to end the awkward tension and then the conversation moved on.

The truth is that I have NO idea how things will play out.

I THINK things will be fine.

I am TRUSTING that we will stay with our heads above water.

I BELIEVE that I have had confirmation for years now that it’s the ripe time to move forward.

However, even though all of these things are backing me-I have to wait and see. Nobody has any guarantee as to HOW things will play out and in what scenario and timing. I tell you what though-a big old hug and encouragement from them would have meant the world, but I realized today that is just another attachment to an outcome I had to release.

AGAIN.

My parents are lovely people. I am beyond loved and blessed. It’s not their fault-that’s the best they know how to do with the fear they are probably feeling for me and my ‘crazy’ decision.

I don’t know how else to do this though. There is no ‘safety net.’

I was listening to Elliott Hulse the other day while on the rebounder and he talked about risks and said something to the effect of :

[spp-tweet “There IS no nice way to go about risking everything.”]

You must rip the band-aid off (insert curse words if you want as he does;) and fling yourself off the cliff and grow your wings on the way down.

Well, pretty much sums up what I am doing.

I am encouraged by my past though-looking back and recalling those heart led decisions that paid off for me in my life, regardless of what others thought.

And it’s all turned out pretty good so far if you ask me.

If cash flow is the main challenge in all of this, then I will stick to what one of my favorite motivators Les Brown says…

[spp-tweet “”If you got a problem either man or money can solve, then you ain’t got no problem.””]

WISE. Thanks Mr. Brown. I could’ve used a hug from you today. 🙂

FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: Laughing is so so good. I realized tonight how little I have laughed in th epast few months. I have been really peaceful and serene which is absolutely amazing but not a lot of real deep laughter. Tonight was a start as Justin had me cracking up while trying to play a 2 questions type game that came up on the fly while watching a dvd, Ahh, I NEEDED that. (and just in case you are wondering, the answer was Prince. Yes, the artist formerly known as. And it took Justin lets just say almost as long as the whole dvd to get. 🙂

Image: http://mashable.com/2013/01/28/prank-on-mom/