Realizing How Far I’ve Come In This Journey Almost Brought Me To Tears

Feel Good Project day 104

The Feel Good Project today consisted of:

• hugging a few trees in the park
• aking Maggie on 3 walks through the park and along the beach
• Cleaning and vacuuming
• Grocery and produce shopping
• Receiving my two new orchid essences in the mail (YAY!)
• Finding another little yellow alley lemon
• Doing a few rounds of the QLaser while reading
• Preparing for a juice and bone broth fast I will start Monday
• Texting a few good friends for Valentine’s day to tell them how much I love them
• And lastly but most importantly NOT going into the salon on a Saturday!!!!

I still pinch myself that I never have to step foot in a salon ever again. It’s all pretty unreal to me. I guess maybe most people feel like this after they leave a career that’s lasted a giant portion of their lives? Takes awhile to hit what really happened in it’s entirety? I am sure I am not alone in this.

Every time I think about the fact that I have reclaimed Saturdays on my own terms, I get giddy and I feel my soul do a little jig.

Yes, a very elated SOUL JIG.

On the other hand, some days since I quit my job, I feel as if I should be accomplishing MORE than I am. Sure I am not alone in this feeling as well. Especially when one chooses to work from home:) I was feeling this in a particularly strong way a couple of days ago and then stumbled upon my friend LaShanda’s post of facebook that stated:

‘When you start doubting yourself,
remember how far you’ve come.
Remember everything you have faced,
all the battles you have won,
and all the fears you have overcome.’

Although she didn’t write that herself, it seems as if she could have-that we ALL have those feelings inside of us that we need to remember and bring to the surface more often.

When I began to feel like I need to be and DO more this week, this reminder spoke directly to me and met me in that space of doubt and self guilt.

Gosh DARN it!!! I HAVE indeed come SO far!!!!!

Farther than I ever imagined I would have. Faced fears beyond my wildest dreams-and I know that journey has just started! I have faced so many battles and indeed WON victoriously!

Why is it that our human nature always wants to go the punishment route in our heads? The beating ourselves up in silence in our heads for not coming along faster or farther?

On the 3 walks I took with Maggie today, I made a mental list of the BIG things that I have indeed made giant strides with, or even completely succeeded altogether!!!!

THAT, my friends, is a GIGANTIC part of feeling goo. To boost ourselves up and focus on what and who we truly are and what we are capable of. To NOT be taken down by self doubt and buying into who we were in the past.

NO.

It stops NOW.

I am who I am today and each moment is NEW.

This road called life might be narrow and bumpy beyond belief, but when I look back, I see the sparkles behind me now…

FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: crouching IN the bathtub with Maggie for the first time while washing her! Much better angle for my back than sitting on side of tub like usual. Pretty cute seeing a drenched puppy looking back at you and shaking water all over the bathroom walls.

Image: mattmayberryonline.com