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Feel Good Project day 19
Going on this soul retreat/vision quest has proved QUITE fruitful.
My intentions were to just flow and boy has it been just that. This time away has really shown me what flow is in new, life affirming ways, while pushing fear to the side.
To be honest-I was a tad leary of this trip starting a few days before my departure.
I had cleared with Justin that it was cool for me to travel with our Q-1000 laser, as that amazing machine has helped me with SO many health challenges in so many ways over the past eight months or so.
When we interviewed Dr Larry Lytle about the laser he mentioned that he never leaves home without his-and I can now see why!
Well long story short Justin strained his back and as in way more of desperate need of the miraculous laser than I was-mine was out of a need for security-just ‘in case’ I should need it.
So it made sense to leave it at home with him, although to be honest a sense of dread washed over me as the’ what ifs’ started to take over.
I was immediately sucked into the past, when last year I survive a pretty severe pancreatic attack all by myself in this hermitage in the middle of the night.
Not having having the laser to soothe my panic, I was a bit stressed.
I realized something VERY important on this trip though.
The first thing is that I had to smack some sense into that thick head of mine that this was NOT last year. This is NOW. Things don’t have to go the same way. In fact, I have to start trusting that things WON’T go the same way.
A true mind game.
But I won.
The old me would possibly have even cancelled the trip altogether out of panic.
The new me was almost saying bring it on!
And bring it I did and am doing.
I actually had a glass of wine last night.
I’m actually having another one tonight as I write this. Wine is something I’ve really strayed away from due to high sulfite content. However I found one with no detectable sulfites and have enjoyed myself immensely in letting loose a bit.
This trip has reminded me to not be too attached to ANYTHING. Outcomes, fear, dietary restrictions, health products I often grow to believe I can’t live without.
Truth is-although I don’t WANT to live without certain comforts for long periods of time, the truth is I CAN.
For someone like me with a history of anxiety, this is a huge step in empowerment and trusting the process.
The letting go that has happened on this trip is memorable, along with text reminder to return to the basics.
Also-to lighten up and have FUN, while releasing the doubts that plague me that I may pay for certain missteps tomorrow.
I’m so so over fear. Fear sucks. I’m done.
This has been an incredibly soul affirming getaway which I’ll never forget.
FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: my beautiful friend Robin treated me to an hour massage. Something not in the budget this season so it was beyond appreciated. What a gift.
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