How An Art Therapy Session Caused Me To See Sides Of Myself I’m Ashamed Of

Feel Good Project day 89

Well, today I indeed painted my canvas!

Or started it, rather.

It is still becoming.

I have the background painted and I cannot WAIT to see how and where I take it…or where it takes ME I guess I should say.

I learned two things about art today.

1. I love it and I felt more free from the moment I picked up the brush.
2. The reason I have never picked up painting before but have always wanted to is because I have obsessed about having it come out perfect.

So #2 is what has kept me from meeting #1 much earlier in the game.

Paints such a picture (pardon the pun!) of what I do in most all areas of life as well. I find myself afraid to leap and try, for fear of either failure or that it won’t turn out exactly how I wanted and envisioned.

Seems a bit silly as I step back a bit from all of the fear and see life and risk for what it is: one giant adventure!

I am loving where the start of my painting is going and I commit to loving the journey, no matter what the outcome.

The part of me that found freedom and release in picking up that brush today surprised me. It was actually an art therapy session, where I attempted to locate and recognize certain emotions in myself. A sheet of paper was divided into two columns, where the left was positive emotions of how I view myself in all the love and goodness I believe I embody at my core, and the right side of the darker, shadow parts within myself.

I was led through a process of assigning colors to the feelings, which would eventually end up on my canvas to gauge a bit into what is going on in my heart.

I am all about personal development, healing wounds and dolling out forgiveness by the giant truckloads-however in this particular instance I have decided to take my canvas another direction.

Although I most certainly have as many shadow sides as anybody else, where I am right now in this season of life, I feel I have worked so damn hard at confronting and resolving so many of them head on, that it is time to take a break and rejoice in my new found peace and magic of living in flow and watching God’s miracles surrounding me.

And surround they do.

Now the only issue I had was where do I find a quiet and inspiring place to paint as well as paint supplies?

Not an hour went by from the time I had decided to take my art piece in a different direction, when my friend and next door neighbor Teresa offered her new little and PINK kid’s playhouse turned artist’s studio to me to use any time my little artsy heart desires a place to create!

(By the way- about 5 minutes after finishing up writing this blog, I looked through my photos I took at today’s painting session and decided on one of many that I thought captured the project the best…only to find the one I had already picked actually includes off to the right a little PINK house…right where I believe I will end up creating most of the time! Loving this magical journey!)

She told me that it can be messy and there are paints back there to use and a place to set up my canvas.

Absolute perfection.

Now, who can say that it does not seem like art is stalking me and trying to give itself and it’s many gifts to me! I really do believe this year will be one of creative blocks lifted now that I have quit my job.

What a journey..

FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY: A lovely warmish rain spattered down today, and I picked wild lavender from a bush while letting the smell of purifying and cleansing rain wash me anew. Today I felt like I GLOWED.

Image: colorsofplay.com