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I almost titled this article, “8 ways to end negativity” but that would imply a focus on something negative, ie removing that which we don’t want in our lives. So I decided to focus the title of this article on the positive instead.
I always say it’s better to move toward something positive than to focus on trying to remove something negative.
Do you struggle like I do with negative thoughts? Do you tend to think that circumstances and life events that are bad or stressful always seem to follow you no matter where you go?
For many years I’ve been that way. For many years people would say “ahh that’s just The Stellman Curse” when something bad happened in my life. Isn’t that crazy? They even gave perceived negativity a name and applied it to me.
Anyway I want to give you some ideas about how to be less negative and rewire your thinking towards being more positive.
Here she goes…
Remember that the opinion of other people is simply their story. What they think of you is none of your business. When we begin to over value the opinions of others to the point where we care more about what they may or may not think about us something is wrong.
We care more about what other people think about us than what we think about us. Whenever we begin down this path negativity is the end result. We start comparing our lives to others. We begin playing the victim role and the negativity starts.
Their opinion is just that, it belongs to them and has nothing to do with you. It’s simply a story they made up about who they think you are.
This seems obvious doesn’t it? Spending time with truly inspired people is huge. Osmosis is very powerful. We often don’t feel osmosis happening. We just begin to mimmic the behavior of our friends and coworkers without even knowing it.
When people are negative or have no drive in their lives, you MUST cut them out of your life. You’re worth more than that. You can’t let their energy come anywhere near your consciousness.
In order to have something different in your life you must first be something different. If you’re by nature a glass is always half empty person, then go out of your way to be more positive. Say things you wouldn’t normally say, even if you just say them to yourself under your breath or to others.
Start acting more positive to rewire the neurons in your brain to make new connections. This will physiologically change your brain. Start being kind to strangers. Start looking for ways to help people. Start looking for the good in people. Start allowing for people to have a good reason why they’re acting the way they do.
If somebody is speeding down the highway on their cell phone, lie to yourself about it. Tell yourself a story that makes you feel good instead of negative and judgmental. Tell yourself that maybe his dad just had a heart attack and he’s calling the hospital to find out his status.
Give people grace to act certain ways because we never know their story.
Be very careful what you let in. Our inner garden (as I like to call it) is our spirit, our soul, our mind, our psyche if you will. This is the most affected place by negativity. And it’s also the most powerful place for change.
Don’t listen to the news. Don’t listen to negative people talk at you. Don’t allow your friends be negative all over you. Stop watching TV. Protect your inner garden like it’s Fort Knox with trillions of dollars worth of gold in there.
Be careful what you listen to. Fill your head with people who are passionate, inspired and driven to make a difference in life.
When “bad” things happen it’s easy to start getting negative and pessimistic. There seems to be 3 characteristics of a pessamist which are…
When 1 random event happens that’s bad we start thinking woe is me and you start focusing on yourself by blaming yourself. Then you start to extrapolate that all other areas of your life aren’t going well either. You might start thinking about all the other areas of your life that are failures. Then you lose any thoughts of what’s possible. You don’t think about the lessons that could be learned here or what possible good could come out of this event.
Why does all this happen? Because you’re not living in the present moment. You’re not just dealing with the situation as it’s happening. You’re starting to think all these crazy thoughts just because one thing went wrong in your day.
Learn to live in the present with no story or thoughts about what’s happening.
All you have to do is see how your dog deals with traumatic issues. Usually they just shake it off and move on. 🙂
Don’t have attachments to the story you’ve told yourself about the negative thinking pattern you’re in. If you can learn to let go of the need to be negative you can make great strides and becoming more positive.
Why do you need to have the negative reaction? If you can get to the root cause of your thinking pattern you can really understand what you are really after when you start negative thinking patterns.
It’s easy to be a doubter. It’s easy to be sarcastic. It’s fun and funny to listen to people be that way but if you continue being that way, you’ll find your negativity will never go away. It’ll always be there no matter what.
Instead of saying something sarcastic, just don’t say anything at all. The same goes with being cynical. It’s too easy to be sarcastic. Learn to let that go.
Meditation is key. Try to meditate for 15 minutes per day. Play some soft music right before bed and dim your lights. Sit quietly and just focus on your breathing with your eyes closed. Every time a thought comes up just take a deep breath and let it go.
Do this every day for 30 days and you’ll start to notice your outlook on life will change from being more positive than being negative.
It’s easier said than done but but if you want something different in your life, you must first become something different.
Makes sense right?
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